i’ve always enjoyed poetry
the way a person can say so much
in so few words
and i’ve always wished
to have the gift of words
but then i think
of all the days i have spent rambling and talking
and realize that maybe my words don’t have much meaning
but i attach the meaning i want them to have
so i can feel a little better about myself
"There are times when a feeling of expectancy comes to me, as if something is there, beneath the surface of my understanding, waiting for me to grasp it… Oh, something is there, waiting for me. Perhaps someday the revelation will burst in upon me and I will see the other side of this monumental grotesque joke. And then I’ll laugh. And then I’ll know what life is."
"If only I can find him… the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic & personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn’t I expect it in a man?"
"I like people too much or not at all. I’ve got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them."
"Sometimes, I feel like I’m not solid. I’m hollow; there’s nothing behind my eyes. I’m a negative of a person. It is as if I never thought anything, never wrote anything, never felt anything. All I want is blackness. Blackness and silence."